January 6th, 2011
I have not been blogging like I should. I wonder at times why would anyone read what I write. I don’t get a lot of feedback from the peanut gallery. (smiling at this) But, I know that to be a viable blog, one has to write, and getting noticed isn’t an overnight thing. So why am I not blogging? Too busy?
Life has a way of keeping you on your toes. I have always been one who focuses on one thing (sometimes excessively) to the exclusion of something else. When I moved to my home in 1985 I spent the first two weeks (kid free thanks to grandparents) trying to take control of a huge mess! We moved in during a terrible ice/snow storm with more stuff than would fit in the house. The previous inhabitants had to leave in a hurry and did not clean the house before they left. A family of 5 or 6 left the walls looking like food had been thrown on them, and the yuckky brown shag carpet was full of trash. I had planned where every piece of furniture would go, bought curtains for each room, but had no idea of the work it would take to get it all together. I knew no one. My husband was busy working a new, very demanding job, so I was on my own. I cleaned, painted, and prayed that the water and electriciy would not be shut off until my car could leave the ice covered drive (at the top of a very big hill). I had only meager cleanning supplies and furniture in the house for the first week. My children and their grandparents were stuck in our previous home also without many basic supplies due to the surprise storm. Fortunately they soon got away to the grandparents home, and I was able to find the electric and water companies, and begin the work.
Long story short, at the end of 2 weeks I needed to get the children home even if the boxes weren’t unpacked, and the painting not done. With the children here (ages 4 and 2) I found very little time to continue to focus on the job of getting the house perfect. Boxes went for months, some years, before they were unpacked. I felt as if things would never get done.
I had left a buddng career as a teacher of decorative arts with classes several days per week. I had friends who swapped child care with me, and a great support system. At the new location I began to get calls to come and teach at local shops, but I was so overwhelmed with the unpacking, the snow, and no one to care for the children that I had to say no. As the children grew I slowly began to paint and then teach, but time to spare was minimal. A growing family, a husband who traveled a lot meant I had to learn to take care of the home, the kids, the finances, the yard, and my aging parents in another state.
Time became a blessing and a curse. I, being a people person, was involved with family, church, school, and community and finding time to do my art seemed impossible. I took care of everyone else and let my needs be last. That is what the good mother does isn’t it?
Learning to prioritize is an ongoing struggle, learning to say no is a major obstacle for me. I have learned to allow myself to let go, to fail rather than do nothing, to listen to my body and relax when I need to, and to make a plan and work it until it is done. I have learned to ask for help and delegate jobs. I can forgive myself for not doing something the I assigned to myself.
My art time is still a struggle. I photograph scenes I can visualize as paintings, I get excited by a drop of water on a leaf or a spider’s web and can’t wait to paint it, but I stop short of just doing it. My files are full of things I want to do, need to do, and have to do. I have a plan for that. I will paint, sketch or draw something everyday this year! Ouch, that is in print! Is that a commitment? a promise? a goal? I believe it is an excellent goal sounds good to me. If you are an artist, or have some passion you want to pursue why don’t you join me. Set a goal to work/play/explore your passion a little bit each day, and then let me know what you plan and how you are doing with your plan.
I wish for you a Happy New Year with all 365 days of it focusing on your passion!